Let me preface this post by saying it may be my most important blog post ever – and that’s saying something! It is also the number one issue I hear people talking about, the number one problem most of my clients are facing, and frankly, it’s also my daily struggle: How to keep your shit together as a graceful Warrior of Light in a world that seems to enjoy drama and trauma. It’s a daily decision not to “go low” but to aim your energetic bow higher, releasing only arrows of beauty into what can seem like a sea of darkness. Except it isn’t a decision, really. What choice do you have if you came into this life to make this world a better place? Embodying compassion is a commitment and it requires discipline.
As you get older, you realize that the world is full of hurting people, and just because you are in pain too doesn’t mean you get to be a pain. When trauma happens, as it does to all beings, you have a choice to make: You either use the trauma to fuel a new approach to life and reorient yourself toward healing and happiness, or you submit to the trauma and use it as an excuse to sling your sorrows outward, at others. And doing so might make you feel better for a few minutes. But it is never okay to willfully hurt another human being, no matter how justified you feel. The pain buck has to stop with you, sweet one. No more projecting your crap onto the world around you. You’re too grown up and magical for that.
So how then do you interact lovingly, with compassion, in a world that often mirrors back to you just the opposite? Here are my five strategies to help you find peace in a peaceless world:
1) Decide you are going to love mean people anyway
People are human; you can either resent them for it, or love them in spite of it. When you see expressions of trauma – which in muggle terms looks like mean people wounding others, tearing them down, critiquing them without cause, or judging others they don’t know – open your heart wider and recognize that you’re looking at a wounded soul, someone’s child, and they need love – not more judgment in return – to heal. Can you be the one who will love them anyway? Remember that many people have not had a source of unconditional love for a long time. Maybe their parents were cold and undemonstrative or died at a young age. Maybe their husband, wife, or partner doesn’t hold, kiss, or touch them anymore and they are starving for human affection. I’m not excusing poor behavior, but I am explaining it as clearly as I can because the more you know, the more you understand, and the less you react.
2) Make your life into a sanctuary, an oasis
Be the oasis you need in your life, and in turn, be an oasis for others. What do I mean by oasis? A space to breathe, be, expand, and become. Decide that people in your life will be offered the liberation, space, and love they need to become their fullest self and that if they project onto you or cannot return that love in some way, you will continue to stand firmly in your own space of love and compassion. Let nothing dim your light, and let no one dissuade you from bringing more love into the world right now. Light your little candle, and let it shine for the world to see.
3) Teach love by example
How you live your life matters; your children are watching you and learning. Your friends and loved ones, but even those who do not know you personally, see the lived example you create. Are your words and actions resonant with your values and mission to love? If not, that’s ok. Use that awareness as an opportunity to get more deeply connected to your central mission and purpose. And know that sometimes, because you are human, you won’t want to embody love. You’ll be pissed off, hungry, sad, confused, or just tired. Love yourself enough in those moments to have compassion for you, too. As the Buddhists say, if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Every time you divert, however, consciously return to love.
4) Get honest with yourself on every level
Truth heals, and lies destroy. If you cannot be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? I always say, no one is more critical of me than me. I am so hard on myself! But I am honest too and I also love myself when I see myself growing, evolving, and becoming a person I am proud to be. I have spent the last year in particular really honing my relationship with myself and my own inner truth. On every single level, my life is aligned. It’s not perfect, but nothing is inconsistent: My thoughts, my actions, my relationships, my experiences, my words, my work, my body, my emotions, my energy – it’s all vibrating in accord with the fullness of my soul. If you can’t say the same, start there! Get real with yourself. It’s never too late. Your transformation really does begin the moment you get tired of your bullshit.
5) Ask yourself in every moment, what does love look like here?
When someone yells at you in traffic, what does love look like there? When your child gets bullied by the child of someone you know, what does love look like there? In every moment, love can be invited into the space. You might find that what love looks like seems too generous, too open, too risky and vulnerable. But I’ll say this to you: Who cares? Can you really be too loving or too kind? Can you really be too forgiving? I don’t think so. I believe all the angels in heaven sing when we make a conscious choice to look hatred or fear in the face and show it an expression of love. Doing so makes you a powerhouse warrior goddess queen in my book! I hope you can hear me cheering you on when you do something as brave as speaking love into a dark space. When you stand up for someone else and anchor your truth, that makes me squeal too. I see you doing that hard work.
These are just my tips, based on my experiences, but they are also offered at a time when they are needed most. By following them you will raise your personal energetic frequency and come into powerful alignment with all you seek, in an effortless way. But don’t manifest love to get something in return; manifest love because you are ready to stop reincarnating into lives of difficulty. You’re ready now to ascend to a new level of conscious awareness and a literal garden of pleasures awaits you there. I’ll be there waiting, too. Amen, A’ho, and So it is.
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