Oh woman I see you. This was not what you imagined when you were a little girl, was it? No, you dreamed of a prince and a castle perhaps, or maybe your dreams were more simple: Someone, anyone, who would come and love you just as you are, wanting only what you can offer. And yet the world has demanded so much from you, given so little in return sometimes, expecting water to pour from your chalice with no end, with no source of replenishment. I see you over there, in the corner, spent and afraid that perhaps this is all there is to life. You make miracles for everyone else, while you patiently wait for your miracle.
But do you know, you are your miracle?
You are the caterpillar, my sister, who is about to gestate and become the monarch butterfly and spread her big gorgeous wings, flying soon above those who looked down upon you before. There is a price to pay for the transformation that awaits you. Let me be the older sister for a moment and walk you through what’s ahead, to help you appreciate what already is, and prepare you for what is to come. You see, transformation is what everyone seeks. To become the butterfly. Until you become the butterfly and realize how simply lovely you were as a caterpillar. How necessary this stage is, the gestation of your goddess self and the sacred stirrings of your soul’s most magnificent awakening. How I remember the days of waiting and wanting and hoping.
Maybe you are there now. Maybe your spouse has told you he or she is no longer interested in you, not at all attracted to you. Maybe you are worn from early years of motherhood, as I was not long ago, lost in the early days of pouring yourself into a tiny new life. Those days are so sweet, but the secret only mothers know is that those days are also scary and lonely. Oh but I have good news: You are NOT alone. You are in fact surrounded by other souls just like you. Maybe they are mothers, maybe they are not. Maybe they are artists whose brushes are dry from years of deliberate ignoring and sublimating of their soul gifts. Maybe they are dancers who can’t remember the last time they put on their sexiest seductive dress and hit the dance floor with abandon, moving to the rhythm of their souls without any care for who is watching or why. Maybe they are writers who feel they have lost access to the Muse, lacking inspiration to write a single word because who cares what they say anyway? Maybe they are medicine women who believe they have lost their magic touch, hands too far away from the plants and medicines of the jungle.
Whoever the female souls are who surround you, they all carry one facet of your essence because we are in fact one essence manifest in a million different forms. When you are in relationship with someone who cannot see your value, you have two choices: Flee or transform. If you flee, the same energy will reappear in a different form and you’ll have a new difficult relationship on your hands. If you transform, both yourself and the relationship by virtue of your internal shift, you will release the karmic baggage of your soul contract and liberate your partner to a new level of unconditional love that he or she may also have thought was impossible. I hope you will choose to transform. Deep down, you know you have no other choice really. It’s keeping you up at night. You know you have to shift, but you aren’t sure where, how, or when.
And that is why I am here. There is no escaping our connection as women, as descendants of the Mother, of Inanna, of Gaia herself. We are Gaia’s daughters, and no woman on this planet is ever truly alone. We are born into a sisterhood of souls and in every phase and aspect of your life there is another woman who is also you, working through the same soul challenges, sending you sweet medicine of strength and resilience to the corner or pocket of the world you have carved out for yourself. She may not know your name, but damn it woman, she has walked your road or another so similar it would be hard to distinguish. You don’t have to go looking for her. For now, let me be her and let these words be her voice. She sees you. I see you. We are you.
What I do at Sage Goddess is try to show up for every woman on this planet – and every man, too – to say you are not alone and no matter how fucking hard and hopeless life may seem right now, a different view is available to you, a different experience is accessible to you, and it’s as easy to receive as saying yes. The only challenge – but it’s a big one – is that you are going to have to believe. Some tiny pocket in your soul has to. That’s your agreement. You are going to believe. One breath, one thought, one word, one intention at a time. I know it’s hard. You’ve been hurt and wounded. But you are a warrior queen and you are going to stand the fuck up and keep going.
I am not leaving until you do.
Because I am a warrior queen too and I’ve been down in those trenches, and I stood up and said this is not how the story ends. No, I am here for a divine purpose and so are you. And you have so little time to figure it out. Get excited, get busy, and get done feeling sorry for yourself. Queens don’t have time for self-pity. Warriors don’t have time for fear.
I am beyond blessed to hold a virtual container for exactly what I have described to you here. In my Magical Sabbatical course we focus on sovereignty and we show up for each other, mirroring the queen archetype, until we feel strong enough to embody it without the mirroring back. It’s a process. But we’re all evolving out of the chasm, out of the darkness, out of the fear and self-loathing, out of the anger and abuse, into a bright, sophisticated, beautiful, elegant, and wise iteration of our goddess lineage. We hold sacred and profound space for each other’s divine transformation. In short, we hold you up until you can hold yourself up, and fly.
Oh I want to see your wings – I want to experience your wingspan, you gorgeous goddess. I want to see you in all your glory once again, your radiant beauty emanating outward from every part of your body and soul. I want to admire and adore you, love and embrace you, laugh and play with you. I want to adorn and celebrate you, raise a glass and toast you, see you and see into you. I want to wrap my arms around you and tell you how deliciously delectable you are when you turn your head just like that and smile that knowing smile. I want you to see you through my eyes.
If you are ready to become, to evolve, to grow, and to be seen by women who are mature enough to show up fully for you on every level, then say yes. If you don’t know where to begin, write YES on a post-it and stick it on your bathroom mirror. YES. Write yourself a love letter. Anoint your beautiful body with oils and massage your skin with silken lotions after a long candlelit bath. Pour yourself a glass of champagne. Say YES loud and out loud, say it to the trees and also to the stars. Say it to the moon and also to your children. Say it to your mother, and say it to the plants in your garden. Say it to the wind, and whisper it to the oceans. Oh woman, I see you. You are unstoppable, you are beautiful, and you are my sister. I love you so.
A’ho, and on we go.
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